HELL YEAH ! I've been distracted by this matter for barely a week, this insecurities and jealousy is just killing me deeply. This is not just because of the insecurities or whatever, it is also about what have you did to me, and it is still haunting me.. It leaves scars okay! Take note of that you boy.. I think I am scared of losing you, gonna kill myself for typing this so, making confession here, I love you so much.. At the same time, I hate you, unfortunately this hate leads me more to loving you.. Damit ! Could you just make me feel safe?!! I never asked anything from you, just some security.. Idk why, i can't truly trust you for what I've been through.. SERIOUSLY ! I think you didn't really get what I want.. I feel so pathetic of myself. It is not a breaking news anymore, we had the same problem every year, i can't believe this, it comes to us every year on July.. I wish it would be ended soon, because i am pretty sure, i am exhausted for this.. Please do some effort.. okay? But at the end of the day, you’ll never understand how do i really feel. Never did, never will.
Btw, My 20th birthday is coming, on 3rd of Aug.. Hell Yeahhh ! I feel not really wanna celebrate my birthday.. Sigh.. Thinking just have a swim on my bday, and someone special offer me that.. Thanks :) You cheered me.. Urhmm, I did thought of drunk myself too.. So yeahh.. Gonna be a boring 20th birthday.. Simple is the best.. Am I right ?
-Lastly, I Miss You So Much-
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